Amazing
We're in the process of redoing our basement, and while cleaning down there I found some of my old college papers/notebooks. I'm a packrat and saved most of my school papers from elementary school on, and boy am I glad I did. So far I've only read the papers from one folder, but they are very interesting to me. They are from my first college English class--English 120 which took place in the fall of 1987. The one which struck me the most was a short essay on my father's bypass surgery, which had happened almost 4 years earlier. It detailed where I was and how I felt when I found out about the surgery, all of which I'd forgotten. You see, a few months after I wrote that essay my father died.
My father's death is another blog entry for another time when I'm ready. What struck me so forcibly about this essay I found was how completely I'd forgotten about everything having to do with his surgery. At the time of his surgery it was a huge event. My whole family was terrified and it obviously had a big impact for me to be able to write with such detail about the moment I found out about it. But his death was a much greater tragedy which changed my life and who I was completely, so I guess I just forgot about the other event which paled in comparison.
I knew his death had changed me, I just didn't realize how much until I found these papers. Those essays, and the notes I wrote to a friend in that class, speak of happiness, promise, hope and just pure joy. I had forgotten that girl--she died when dad did. Finding her again when my life is so full and so happy is a joy I can't describe :).
Currently working on: Brendan's superhero RR, MH Spring Topiary, 3 Pale Eggs
My father's death is another blog entry for another time when I'm ready. What struck me so forcibly about this essay I found was how completely I'd forgotten about everything having to do with his surgery. At the time of his surgery it was a huge event. My whole family was terrified and it obviously had a big impact for me to be able to write with such detail about the moment I found out about it. But his death was a much greater tragedy which changed my life and who I was completely, so I guess I just forgot about the other event which paled in comparison.
I knew his death had changed me, I just didn't realize how much until I found these papers. Those essays, and the notes I wrote to a friend in that class, speak of happiness, promise, hope and just pure joy. I had forgotten that girl--she died when dad did. Finding her again when my life is so full and so happy is a joy I can't describe :).
Currently working on: Brendan's superhero RR, MH Spring Topiary, 3 Pale Eggs
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I know just how you feel Holly. I'm a very different person than I was 15 years ago when my dad died. I found my college letters and it's amazing to read them.
HUGS
HUGS
(((hugs))) I only lost my Dad a bit over a year ago, but I know I have changed a lot. It really leaves you asking a lot of big questions, I think. I shudder to look at my old college scribblings.
Emma
Emma
